Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Monday, January 16, 2012

Real Marriage: The Truth aboud Sex, Friendship, and Life Together


Written by one of the most “downloaded pastors” Mark Driscoll, Real Marriage covers topics, not many other Christian writers even dare to tackle. If I were to describe this book in one word, blunt, would basically cover all parts of the book. Mark and Grace don’t hold anything back for their readers. They talk about their marriage, good times and bad (even when Grace confessed pre-marital sins).

There have been some nasty reviews on this book labeling it a “sex manual” for Christians. While it does mainly talk about sex, I didn’t read this as a “manual”. I more-so read it for learning what someone else found that worked and didn’t work, in a marriage and friendship with your spouse. It was interesting to me, because I am a pastor’s wife, which it was written by Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church, and his wife! There is a chapter “just for men” and a chapter “just for women” written solely by Mark or Grace.

There are some awesome aspects to this book, like how as spouses you need to agree on what the bible says, keep communication open (make sure each spouse is OK with where you are at in life, marriage, friendship, sex, etc), encourage church going, showing respect, and holding the marriage covenant (not making marriage a business deal). I specifically thought the last chapter was extremely help. They close with “so now you know this, so what” part of the book. They list a lot of questions you and your spouse should sit down, with no interruptions, and discuss, everything from where will you go to church to what will your weekly date night look like, and what obstacles are keeping you from living by your convictions. In the beginning of the last chapter they really put something into perspective “Too many couples put their best energies into the first day. The cake, flowers, clothing, and photos have to be perfect. But while a wonderful first day of marriage is important, it’s the last day that really counts…will the last day be a day to rejoice in a life lived together and remember the gift your spouse was to you while on earth?” A great way in thinking!

While I thought a lot of the book was a great read, there were parts that I thought they took it too far. I felt they took the book Song of Solomon and made something beautiful, and abused it. They talked about things that I wouldn’t even think of in my marriage (pornography for example). It was hard to read those parts, but maybe that was his point.

Overall it was a good book and I’d recommend it to Christian couples who could read such a “blunt” book. Like the book jacket says, If you want the “straight truth wrapped in the grace of the gospel, read this book”….and “straight truth” is right.

**I received this book for free for my honest review of the book from BookSneeze. All opinions above are my own. **

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