Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Monday, April 30, 2012

Have a New Husband by Friday

I got this book via Kindle for PC a while back when it was free. I enjoy reading Kevin Leman's books. I've read Sheet Music which was a great read. There are many other of his books I want to read like Birth Order, 7 Things He'll Never Tell You, but you need to know, and Becoming the Parent God Wants You To Be are just a FEW.

Anyway, if you want to read the book, stop reading here.

Rules to live by
1. He's your husband, not your girlfriend (oh yeah, totally true there)
2. He doesn't and never will think like you (really, that solves a lot)
3. He's equal but not the same (interesting point)

This is SO true: "Studies show that women have more severe and longer-lasting pain than men.8 (But you already knew that, didn’t you?) On average, you experience headaches, facial and oral pain, back pain, and other ailments more frequently and more severely than your husband does. Perhaps that explains why when you get the flu, you take DayQuil and keep going (you’re used to putting up with a little pain), but when your husband gets the flu, he turns into a little boy who needs chicken soup and keeps yelling for orange juice, stat! Men can’t handle pain the way women can." (p. 25).

Marriage, at its core, is all about respect for the other person— and respect goes both ways.  

He wants to be a good husband. He wants to please you. But he doesn’t know how to do that. He needs your help. 

There also isn’t a man on this earth who hasn’t had a peeing contest with his buddies as he was growing up. Just ask your husband.  - I asked Pastor about this, and he told me a story about when he was in elementary school...quite interesting.

What to Do on Monday
1. Throw your expecta-tions of your man out the window. 2. Evaluate: How is he like you? Different from you?
3. Think back. What attracted you to your husband in the first place? Make a list of those qualities. (p.34)

Women are multi-taskers they think about everything all the time, men are singularly focused (p. 35).

This is what our husbands need:
1. He needs to be respected. 2. He needs to be needed. 3. He needs to be fulfilled. (p.37)

What Women Need Most 1. Affection 2. Honest, open communication 3. Commitment to family (p 62)

I laughed out loud as I read this: For example, I saw a father who, for the first time, diapered his 1-year-old son. As the child toddled off down the hallway, the diaper began its slow slide down to the carpet until the child, naked as a jaybird, began to run gleefully down the hallway, right into his mama’s arms. You know what that wife did? She looked at her husband, wiggled her eyebrows, swept the child up with a laugh, and said, “Not so fast, big boy. Your daddy’s ready to give your bottom another shot.” And as that wife transferred that bare-bottomed child to her husband, she whispered in her husband’s ear, “That was a great first try. I’d sure love to see your bare bottom later. Think we can plan on that?” (p 41).

the catch: your husband won’t do his part until you do yours. (p 42). - So its a two was street!

Put your husband first (p.65)

If you want to have a fascinating conversation with your husband, just ask him about childhood pranks.

What to Do on Tuesday
1. Observe your male creature in his environment. In what setting does he seem most comfortable? Why do you think that is?
2. What were his growing-up years like?
3. How did his mother interact with him? How did his father treat his mother?
4. In what way(s) does his background contribute to who he is now, and how he responds to you and life in general?
5. Was he encouraged to share his feelings?

Today your grown-up boy longs for the same things from you that he longed for from his mama (and may or may not have received): acceptance, belonging, and companionship.

What to Do on Wednesday
1. Give him the CliffsNotes, not the whole enchilada.
2. Don’t ask, “Why?”
3. Allow him time to process your information. Your coprocessor might be faster, but that doesn’t mean it’s better in the long run.
4. Remember, he’s your lover, not your girlfriend. (And think about it: would you really want that chatty girlfriend around 24-7?)

Talk to him with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Show him in both words and actions that you accept him, that he belongs to your family, and that you believe he’s competent. Honor him in your home. Ask him what he thinks. Be efficient and independent, but not too much; he needs to be needed. Tell him what’s going on in the family; he likes to know what’s going on, even if he can’t be there all the time. Every man hates finding out information about his family thirdhand. Show an interest in what he likes to do. Listen to him (when he does talk).

What to Do on Thursday
1. Kiss him. Not the peck-on-the-cheek kind, but the I-want-you kind.
2. Play sleuth. Observe your husband. What makes him feel most loved? How can you tell?
3. Say “I love you” in the way that means the most to him.
4. Take a risk. Step out of your comfort zone. Surprise him. (I’ll leave that to your imagination.)

What to Do on Friday
1. Think back to your own childhood. How did your dad treat your mom? How did your mom treat your dad? How did your dad treat you? How have those early experiences influenced the way you interact with your husband?
2. Choose to act differently. Believe that you will see results.
 3. Tell your husband you’re glad you married him. That he’s your man.
4. Treat him as your hero, and he’ll act like it.

Leman, Kevin (2009-10-01). Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days. Revell. Kindle Edition.

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