This week I'm excited to say that I get to go on a RETREAT with Pastor with NO KIDS!!!!!!!!!! We'll be gone for two nights, and three days. It will be a LONG time for me to be away from my babies. I have NEVER left #2 EVER over night. Now many of you probably have left your children overnight with grandparents, babysitters and such, but we don't have grandparents close (they live 14 hours away). I've never really been comfortable leaving them overnight with a sitter, and most of our friends who would volunteer to watch our children but they also have one if not two children of their own.
So, Pastor has a retreat for church EVERY year, usually right at the end of the school year for all the church and school administrative staff to get on board for the upcoming year and set a theme and such. The first year we were at the church (we've been here for two years now) families were invited. The second year only spouses were invited, no children...and since #2 was just 10 months old, I was still nursing I stayed home alone with the kids and Pastor went. I also dislike staying home alone...really stinks being a single parents. I don't know HOW any single parent does it (or how my mother did it, I'm from a divorced family, very young age).
BUT, this year #2 is almost two and #1 is three in a half, and I'm pregnant with #3. Next year I won't be able to go because #3 will only be 7 months or so, so I figured THIS IS THE YEAR to go. I've gone back and forth for a LONG time, even considered calling our babysitter and cancelling. BUT I haven't and I don't think I'm going to. Its just SO hard to leave my babies. I love them and I know they'll be in good hands, but its hard. The first time I ever left #1 was when I had #2 in the hospital. I balled the night before I put him to bed before I had #2, I knew he'd be in great hands, but I was just afraid of what he'd think, he was only 18 months at the time. I fear most for #2 because she doesn't "comprehend" what's going on, while #1 understands mommy and daddy will be gone for 2 days but will be back on Friday.
Here's what's keeping me going:
1. Our babysitter is the Senior Pastor's Daughter, she's a Junior in College, home for the summer, can drive, and is majoring in education. She's AWESOME and the kids love her.
2. We're only going 100 miles away, yes far, but I CAN drive home if there is an emergency.
3. We have some AWESOME friends here who are going to come and check on the kids.
4. I need some ME time, and some ME and Pastor time.
So, with that. I'll be gone the end of this week. I'm hoping I'll get some good rest, read a few books, and enjoy the Idaho Mountains!