Ever feel like a bible study or a sermon was being taught and preached JUST for you? That you were the ONLY ONE in the room and God was speaking directly to you. I had this experience on Sunday.
I was able to go to our Women's Bible Class for part of the time (without kiddos...now that's a big accomplishment). I walked in 5 minutes late and had to leave 10 minutes early, but I was determined to go for a bit. I wanted to go because I knew that in the coming months I won't be able to go, since I'm now the Director of Children's Ministry at our church. So, I went. I walked in, quietly, and sat down to watch the video they were watching for the bible study they were on, talking about different women of the bible. This week they were talking about the story of Hannah.
Since I walked in late and walked out early I only got part of the bible study, but it was enough for God to move me.
I took a whole page worth of notes, in about 15 minutes. That says something.
I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. Stressors that are/were causing me to focus on my daily life, where God has placed me now. The way this bible study was done helped me realize I am where I am, and I should surrender.
I came to realize, once again, that emotions don't bother God. We don't have to "hold it together" for God. God doesn't want to see your happy face if your not happy. He wants you to be honest. Be honest before God and before yourself. Pour your heart out to God.
God sees us where we are. Not where we want to be. Isn't it hard to not focus on the "there" in life and focus on the "here" in life. The woman on the bible study video gave the example like this. Imagine you are walking into a mall, a mall you have never been to before. What's the first thing you do? You find the directory. You want to see what stores are there, do you need to go to the lower level or upper level. How can I best utilize my shopping time. But before you leave the directory, what else do you need to find? You need to find out where you are. You Are Here. That's where God sees you. Where you are. Here. The Now. Not the there, the tomorrow, the next week. The NOW. There is a lot more to being here than you thought.
Whatever you are waiting for, life isn't necessarily going to be better. Live your life in the fluid dance with God. We need to go to God open handed and give him the thing we are wanting...because we are more to Him than that. We, I, need to surrender to God in the wait.
I've been "waiting" for some things lately, and God spoke to me and helped me realize its not as important as where I am now and what I am doing NOW. I AM HERE.